Zicken
by traumschwinge
Summary: Hungary's spying on Prussia and Austria. They forgot to close the window. So she can hear them mocking each other. And maybe something she could tell Japan and Lichtenstein? - Human names used. No pairing, though quite a few get mentioned.


„Oh, come on!" she heard Gilbert cry through the open window. Elizabeta tried to concentrate on her work – she was currently sweeping the yard – but as always when Gilbert was visiting, she got distracted.

For quite some time, she had suspected that something she didn't want to name was going on between him and her husband. She had no proof for it, all she had was her instinct, though that did usually work out pretty well.

Until now, that was. Since it was such a nice day, the two had forgotten to close the window. This time, she wouldn't have eavesdrop at the door where she could only figure out half the conversation.

"I meant it."

Elizabeta could hear her husbands response clam response which made her slowly shift closer to the open window. Still, she was pretending to sweep but now she was curious about the conversation of the two man. It had to be something important because Gilbert was already there for more than two hours and Roderich hadn't kicked him out of his house yet.

"You can't be serious! I'm no manwhore!" Gilbert yelled back at him.

"So? May I remind you of Ivan?" Roderich responded as calm as ever.

"That was nothing mutual! He raped me!" Gilbert cried.

Dear God, what where the two of them talking about? It almost sounded like – was her husband jealous or something? The conversation was much to interesting to continue sweeping. Elizabeta always appreciated a good story she could tell Lily or Kiku. If it was a "first handed" story, the better. Others would call that sort of gossip but the three of them enjoyed that kind of conversation very much. And weren't they supposed to know as much as possible about fellow nations? It wasn't her fault, that the more delicate stories were more fun to tell.

"And why did you stay with him for so long if he raped you?" Roderich went on, ignoring the angry pout by the Prussian. "Besides, he was neither your first nor the last. We both know that. What about your brother?"

"What has West got to do with this?" Gilbert snapped, still sounding annoyed. He surly was still upset about what Roderich had said about the Russian nation, Elizabeta figured. Though, she could almost hear her husband raising an eyebrow on Gilbert's words, knowing him so well.

"You know perfectly well," he stated. "Or would you deny that you shared your bed with him – and this on more than one occasion?"

"How would you know that?" Gilbert hissed. Elizabeta had to sneak closer to the window to understand that and hid in the bushes next to the window so she wouldn't be spotted.

"Who do you think he asks when he seeks advice on that matter?" she heard her husband chuckle. "I know a lot of things about your brother, especially about his love life. Probably more than you'd ever know."

Gilbert grumbled something indistinguishable. "Why'd he ever talk to a priss like you … oh, wait … now I know," he said when he finally finished ranting over the dig in the Austrian's words. "He asks you because the old man is much more experienced than the awesome me!"

"Exact– wait , what?"

"Roddy, you know what I mean. Okay, I had this thing with Ivan. And West," Gilbert went on.

"And Mikkel," Roderich added, though it went unnoticed by the Prussian.

"But you, glasses, had many more. You were even married twice – not once, twice!" Elizabeta eventually dared to peer inside, only to see Gilbert's wide grin. "So, how was Antonio in bed? You can trust me, I won't tell." A brief pause followed. "Wait … what did you just say about Mikkel?"

"It's none of your business how Antonio was in bed," Roderich snapped.

Gilbert giggled. "Does that mean, he didn't touch you while you were married? Aren't you his type?"

"Shut it, Gilbert!" Elizabeta felt her hand search for a pan. How did Gilbert dare to talk that way about her husband? A small part of her conceded that he might have a point here, though. Seeing Antonio and Lovino together was always so hearth-warming – as long as you ignored Lovino's rants. To compare Roderich and Lovino – now, that was impossible. Either Roderich wasn't Antonio's type or his taste in man had completely changed – probably due to Arthur hitting his head too hard or something like this.

"I won't shut it until you tell me what you said about Mikkel! And what you mean by that!" Gilbert demanded.

"What's going on between him and you? And don't tell me you're "just drinking buddies" because not even your brother is buying that anymore."

That was something Elizabeta wanted to know for quite some time now. She knew that Gilbert started hanging out with the Dane some months ago due to the fact that they apparently had the same hobby when getting thrown out of the house by their brothers. But beer couldn't be the only explanation for the two of them hanging out this much – or of the rumor she once heard from Tino.

"He's just a friend!" Gilbert tried to explain himself. "Is not like we're going out and stuff!"

"That bad?" Elizabeta wondered if Roderich might have heard something she missed. If she'd dared to look at Gilbert, she might have seen that he nodded.

"So it's this serious?" Roderich asked again. "Or at least, you're serious and he isn't?"

"He is, damn it!" Gilbert snapped. "Just as much as I am," he added meekly. "But we don't do such girlish things as going out on dates!" He blushed. Elizabeta would never have guessed that she'd ever see her old friend in such a state. It was almost like Roderich was right and Gilbert was truly in love. But that couldn't be. And the momentarily impression vanished as fast as it had appeared. "But who the fuck told you 'bout this? West? Or Eli? Or your old love Vash?"

"What has Vash got to do with this?" Roderich grumbled. Elizabeta knew how touchy her husband was on this matter. It seemed that the two of them get along a bit better these days but it still wasn't a real friendship. At least, that was what she had been told by Lily and she hadn't been able to figure out what the giggle afterwards meant.

"I don't know. But you're hanging around near his place quite too often sometimes," Gilbert snickered. "So I figured he was your boyfriend."

Roderich snorted. "He isn't."

"He was?"

Roderich nodded. "A long time ago. A too long time ago for you to care!" he added.

Gilbert wasn't satisfied with that. "Oh, I saw you inviting him for lunch not even a week ago."

"That's something different. And I invited his sister as well," Roderich replied. "And besides, I'm still letting you into my house and you wouldn't say that we're dating, would you?"

"Only to scare of Arthur when he's feeling lonely again," Gilbert grinned. "We're even now, aren't we? You've been to just as many foreign beds as I have and still not settling down. And you have even been to mine." He giggled.

Elizabeta felt around for her pan again, this time more seriously wanting to use that. What the hell was Gilbert saying? He hadn't eventually raped her husband when he hadn't been around to save him, had he?

"Old times. Let bygones be bygones. We grew up quite a bit since then," Roderich said. Elizabeta could here that he tried to keep his voice flat. The subject seemed to touch him where he didn't want to be touched.

Gilbert didn't like this as well, it seemed. He didn't push the subject and an awkward silence followed. Elizabeta now hadn't dared to peer inside for quite some time but when she couldn't hear anything from inside the house for more than two minutes, she decided to take the chance again. She raised her head just to see Roderich's and Gilbert's faces close together, almost near enough to kiss. They backed away from each other rather fast, though.

"We were just young and foolish," they agreed.

Elizabeta blinked. What had she just missed?

"Speaking of shared experience", Gilbert said. "How're you and Eli doing? She can be quite hot if she wants to, can't she? Once, she followed me to a river where I was taking a bath ..."

Elizabeta backed away from the window. She had heard enough and didn't like the direction this conversation was heading. Especially the fact that Roderich didn't seem willing to interrupt Gilbert here.

What she had heard, however, was priceless. She had to finish sweeping fast and go and tell Lily and Kiku about what she'd just heard. They would like this as much as she did. And she had do ask Ludwig about Mikkel, maybe bribing him with something to make Feliciano happy …

* * *

><p>AN: Mikkel is Denmark, just for those who wondered. It's the only one of the suggested names I like.


End file.
